Breonna, i'm so sorry.
i'm so sorry for how they treated you. I'm sorry for your parents, I'm sorry for your boyfriend. I'm sorry for your family and I'm sorry for your friends. I'm sorry the people who swore to protect and serve you decided you were the enemy and you were not the one to be served. I'm sorry you're no longer here. I'm hopeful that wherever you are you are in a place where you are not villianized based on your skin tone. I'm sorry they championed you and forgot about you. I'm sorry they made memes out of your death. I'm sorry that they let your killers off. I'm sorry that they did not help you. I'm sorry they shot you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm mostly sorry that the holes in you neighbors apartment walls got justice before you did. Breonna, we will still fight for you.
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I've been avoiding writing this for awhile now because I don't want to be farmed as "The Angry Black Woman". That narrative is old an ugly and I'm tired of it quite frankly. But, I can't not write this any longer.
If you are my white friend and you haven't had the time to check up on me during this long and exhausting and horrifying year but have had time to post about how not all cops are bad, or how BLM is just a socialist or marxist movement - we are simply no longer friends. I say that in the most loving way possible too. Not because I don't want well for you but because you have totally missed the point of what your black family and friends have been experiencing. IF you can shout about how racism isn't real - but refuse to listen to anyones experience about racism, we are not friends. I have always stood by the "We can still be friends even if we don't agree politically" but to be honest, I can be friends with a lot of people who disagree with me on a lot of topics - but if you are opposing my stance on my community being murdered in cold blood - we cannot be friends. I am a biracial black woman. I grew up in an all white home on the white side of town and I did not experience true diversity until I transferred schools. I am used to being the only POC in a room, but dont be mistaken, I am still black. I played on volleyball teams that were all white and experienced racism. I have been followed around stores - as if I've already committed a crime based solely on the color of my skin. I tried to water down my blackness just so I could fit in. I stopped getting my hair braided, I did Brazilian blowouts, I straightened my hair everyday, I refused to wear Jordans, I adopted the basic "Valley Girl" accent, I listened to country music I hated and I tried to hide from myself. Dont tell me you dont have privilege just because you're white. You do have privilege. and stop quoting MLK demanding that we be peaceful and quiet - MLK was murdered by a white man for speaking up about his injustices. Stop using Candace Owens as your only black source. Listen to black people when they speak about their experiences before arguing the other side. I have been mistaken as others children. I have been called slurs and I have EVEN been scared for my life on a couple of encounters with police - newsflash, it wasn't because I broke any laws. If you are willing to throw around stats and pretend like none of this is real - its real. Its painful. Its hurtful. It is not for fun. People are not protesting for fun. I am tired of fighting people on my right to be heard. I am so sorry that I can no longer stay. silent and I'm so upset that anger Is what my feelings have resorted to but I cannot participate in conversations where you forget that before I am your friend - I am black. Thank you for speaking up
Thank you for standing with us Thank you for standing between us and the police Thank you for physically inserting yourself between us and the police Thank you for using your voice because some people will not hear us I know I shouldn't have to thank you but I want you to know I appreciate you. I appreciate how you are handling racial differences. Thank you for supporting us loudly Sign the petitions donate protest bring awareness to the cause SO you love to go to the beach and get cornrows.
So you love and aspire to be a Kardashian. So you say you want black babies So you sexualize and fetishize black men So you go on mission trips and post pictures with black children So you listen to trap music But you make fun of other natural styles "why do they use fake hair". But you don't support any black women, do you even know any? But you won't teach them about their culture. But you are silent when they are murdered, by police, by white supremacists, by racists. But you don't do anything to support the black community where you live But you drive through areas that you call the ghetto. So you love to get box braids So you love to watch love & hip hop So you date black men to piss your parents off So you say the n-word So you love R&B But you call black girls ugly But you don't care about their lives But you don't love them, you love the attention But you claim it's only because it was in a song. But you hate on the R&B artists. Stop. Reevaluate Listen Educate yourself You cannot profit on black culture and not say a word. Be an ally but don't you dare appropriate culture and be silent in times of injustice. Everyone has a certain amount of privilege, right?
You dont have privilege because of your skin tone, right? You can't be privileged because you were raised on food stamps, right? You don't have privilege because your dad was a deadbeat, right? Privilege doesn't exist even though you can do whatever you want, right? Brock Turner He didn't have privilege, now did he? That was explain why he only served 3 months, right? You don't have privilege, do you? That's why all products are catered toward your skin tone. That's why your educators look like you That's why the punishment for your crimes is lesser That's why people aren't scared of you off the basketball court - or the football field. That's why police officers dont have their hand on their gun when they speak to you. That's why you were able to get into the school of your choice That's why campus police lets you off with a warning for hazing That's why your actions have no real consequences That's why you feel comfortable enough to say n****r in public, on social media That's why you dont get in trouble for black face That's why you feel comfortable being arresting officer, judge and executioner. That's why your people went through 400 years of systemic racism, slavery, oppression.- wait but they didn't? Being born black is like being born in a society that's against you. A society that celebrates your culture- wait I meant appropriates Living while black means your life is sometimes harder because of your skin color- something that as a white American - you will never understand. Do all lives really matter to you? Do your incentive comments matter - does the way a hurting community perceive them matter to you? Does your privilege matter to you? - oh wait you say it doesn't exist.
What about the children in cages? What about the parents who are deported - leaving their children in the hands of an underfunded, overcrowded foster care system? What about the children who grow up, whose skin color makes them a target- do they matter? Or do the black babies in exotic places matter more to you? So you want to shut down planned parenthood? why? you say abortion is the number one killer- but what about the women- particularly of color- who lose their lives while delivering children, at an exponentially higher rate. What about when people under the poverty line can't afford birth control anymore? What about the women who can't afford prenatal care? What then. Do you really care about all lives? or do you care about silencing voices who you feel threatened by? What about the little girl being bullied because of her natural hair? do you care about her life? or would you fire her mother for wearing her natural hair to work? Do you really care about all lives? What about the people living with unclean water? do you care about them? do you care about their health? or would you rather vote for a president who doesn't believe in their pain. What about the LGBTQ community? Do you care when a gay man is killed? Do you care about their lives or do you use your religion as a way to place their lives lesser than yours? Do you care when a trans woman is killed - or do you even recognize her as that? What about the children being sold into sex slavery? Do you care about them? Or did they somehow do it to themselves? What about the men and women who were raped? Is that their fault too? Do you really care about them? Or will your "thoughts and prayers" be enough. What about the children in war zones that were killed? By soldiers fighting for our freedom---or was it for oil? Do you really care about all lives or are you concerned that your life will be somehow worth less when others lives are beginning to be recognized more? I see you. I know your pain.
Please do not let them take your identity. Do not let them tell you how to feel about your own oppression. Do not let them play with your hair and then turn around and say the n word. Do not let them describe you as "colored" Your accomplishments are not because of your skin color you worked hard, you earned it. You are not an exotic animal for them to coo over. You are a human being. Even if they don't treat you like it- you are a human being Do not let them turn their heads and stare at you in school when the topic of slavery arises Do not let them tell you that MLK was the greatest civil rights leader Do not let them convince you that what Rosa Parks did was legal and peaceful and did not open her up to violence. DO not let them speak over you when talking about race DO not let them convince you that this is all a figment of the past This is real. You are real Your feelings are valid You are allowed to keep fighting for justice You do not need permission to feel what you feel You are incredible You do not have to be the "Strong black woman" You deserve to be celebrated. I have been the only person of color on volleyball teams, in honor societies, in classrooms and in work spaces. I have been the only person of color in the room. I have felt eyes wander to me and I have been asked to explain racism - even though it is not my job to educate. To the only person of color in the room - don't be afraid to be loud about injustice, don't be afraid to check the men who ask about your ethnicity. Don't be afraid to be rude to people who look at you like an exotic animal. Don't be afraid to tell them no when they ask to touch your hair. Dont be afraid to be heard. Make your voice loud, make them listen to you. You are worthy of being heard. Last thing- DO not white wash your culture to fit in, own your culture, dont let people make you feel bad about your heritage. Celebrate the hell out of your identity, embrace it, welcome it - do not let them silence you. Hi,
I know you're probably already rolling your eyes at this post and, please don't let me stop you but imagine how hard you would roll your eyes if you were always greeted with the response "racism isn't real" whenever you spoke out on your experiences. Stop telling me racism isn't real when in kindergarten I was punished for being shy by being placed in an ESL ( English second language) classroom for 2 days a week despite my mother being heavily involved with my class and the teacher knowing full good and well that English was the only language I spoke. Stop telling me racism isn't real when I tried to color myself blue around the age of 7 because a friend at the time told me the only way to stop people from telling me my skin looked like poop was to change my skin color. Stop telling me racism isn't real when other children in Junior High told me the only reason I was getting to play sports is because there was a severe lack of color being represented in athletics- and a part of me still believes they might have been right. Stop telling me racism isn't real when I begged and pleaded my parents to let me get blowouts every six months out of fear that my cheer coaches would not want me to compete with my natural hair because the coils were too curly. Stop telling me racism isn't real when I moved into college and a "friend" told me she was relieved that I was "not actually black" when she realized I was adopted and continued to explain that rap music scared her and that her hometown school was "basically segregated" Stop telling me racism isn't real when I sat in my government and politics class and a white male asked me in front of the whole class when the professor wasn't in the room "is your life as a colored woman really that difficult" Stop telling me racism isn't real when Americans are acting like having brown or black skin is a crime and when people I know have made comments referring to protesters as thugs. Stop telling me racism isn't real when SO MANY PEOPLE OF COLOR HAVE SUFFERED UNIMAGINABLE PAIN. Stop telling me Blue Lives Matter, Stop comparing our experiences. Police officers CHOSE to be police officers. I did not choose to have brown skin and coily hair - but I love it. Due to racist remarks and treatment it took me YEARS to learn how to love myself in the skin I am in and I am angry that other people are treating darker skin as a crime. Dont tell me racism isn't real, learn how to work with others to end what is happening in all of our backyards. Stop being complacent. Remember, if you choose to be silent in times of social injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. Hi readers,
Today I feel numb. I sat at my little corner desk at my internship and held back tears as a read about George Floyd. George Floyd's story is recognizable because he was filmed. My heart is aching because while I relate to both my white and multicultural heritage I am torn. I am hurting. People of color die so often because of racism and yet I've had people tell me it no longer exists. Police officers-while not all bad- are not doing enough. Why didn't they stop the officer who killed Floyd? Why did they not arrest the men who killed Ahmed Arbery sooner? Why in the hell are people who I know justifying the actions of the policeman by saying "well you don't know why he did that" and "Well he could have been being violent" and "you dont know the full story" "my dad is a police officer and he would never..." the list goes on and on and on. I am hurting because racism is something I have grown up hearing about and seeing. I am upset because I feel the need to justify my outrage about the loss of human lives because a lot of people I know are okay questioning the reason why people of color are upset. Im angry because instead of being outraged about police brutality and innocent lives being taken, people excuse these outrages actions by throwing out words such as "Reverse Racism" "all lives matter" and "blue lives matter". Im mad because I logged onto facebook and saw a post that claimed we should be just as outraged about abortions. Im mad because protestors were tear gassed heavily while the people who protested not being able to GET HAIRCUTS AND WATCH LIVE SPORTS CARRIED THEIR GUNS AND WEAPONS AND PUSHED POLICE AND THEY WERE NOT TOUCHED. I am crying because so many people I love are black. So many people that I love are people of color and every time an innocent person of color is slaughtered I cry for their communities. I am multiracial. I have a history that runs deep and surely a long history of discrimination in those roots and I AM TIRED. I am emotional. I am nervous. I am upset. I am tired of people saying things like "I dont see color" because at the end of the day I want you to see me and know that my history is different than yours and celebrate the differences, I do not want you to ignore them. I do not want to be silenced. my heart is broken for all of the families who have said good bye to their loved ones in this century because racism still exists. I try not to be overly political on my blog but America, please-- we need to do better. America, please do something. I dont want to live in a world where I have to worry every time my future children go outside to play. I dont want to live in a world where I have teach my children all the things that they need to do when they get pulled over by police and pray that they are not hurt. I dont want to live in a world where I have to sit my children down and explain what racism is in kindergarten. I dont want to have to tell my kids that they will have to work twice as hard to get half as far because they are living under a system that aims to oppress them. I dont want to have to comfort my child after school - like my mother did with me- because children yelled at racist slurs. I don't want to have to explain ignorance. AMERICA PLEASE DO SOMETHING As a journalism student, this question makes me cringe heavily. WHO is the media? Are you talking about fake news sites, are you talking about social media? It is all very.... dumb. Does the media include the tv shows you binge and the music you listen to at a high volume? The question is vague, yet everyone knows where the question is really going.
People like to blame the news. People often think that it's too biased, that journalists aren't reputable, that somehow reporting fake news is the norm. I'm here to tell you that it is a journalists job to be as factual, unbiased and ethical as possible. Fake news is not a new thing. There are sites devoted to reporting wacky things. Tabloids by the checkout aisle at the grocery store are a big testament to this. Guess what? that's not new. What is new? People are more likely to look at an article that they personally disagree with because in someway it makes them feel like what they like is negative, so they call it fake. It's not fake just because you disagree with it. That isn't a thing. Just because my team loses a volleyball match does not mean that the game wasn't real. The Knight Foundation recently posted on their blog that young adults are worried about the division of our country due to media. Yes, news is important, yes, sometimes there is a slant based on the company, everyone knows that there is a Fox to every CNN. For my fellow young people who are nervous about News Media, I suggest that you become a better consumer of media, stop thinking that every opposing news site is automatically unrepeatable, by understanding the other side to the story, you will know the story better. Don't place yourself in an echo chamber. Know how to spot fake news, but know more about how to be informed by news. |
AuthorHi there, just your not so average 20-something-year- old Journalism major living life on the sunny side and documenting it! Archives
April 2020
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